Rejoice

March 18, 2018

   So Kostya had made it back to their house and we enjoyed dinner and an evening of Durak (the card came). Who would have thought that a simple card game would be the start to the hardest night thus far.   This particular night of playing the game would be one met with attitude and disrespect from Andriy to me.  I can look back now and see that me leaving the next day was likely a trigger for his behavior.  Since this trip I have learned a  bit more about children of trauma and hard places and have learned along the way by experiencing it first hand, talking with people who have walked the path much harder than I and with far more severe situations.  It's tough.  So with Andiry behaving this way on my last night there was difficult.

God speaking to me, through me and
reminding me many truths.

    For someone with a traumatic background regarding family and loss knowing that someone you care about will be leaving can trigger the response to push them away.  This helps the child not to experience these feelings of loss or rejection that they may have felt prior.  It's a control response and one that is very common.  Not to say it isn't difficult to bare the brunt of it, but we must!  For these children to ever be able to work through these emotions those of us who love them have to be willing to take the backlash of their past.

    So as the game continued Andriy found ways to get upset at me.  Whether it was me beating him, or laughing along the way if Kostya managed to trap him in the game, he was continuously tacky.  So as we finished up and prepared to head to bed Andriy went into his room, grabbed his pillow and headed out.   I would spend this last night there in his City alone in his room.  This would be the night that I poured out my heart to God.

My view the last morning there. 

    The next morning I had already planned to wake early so that I could go to the Hotel to shower and check out.  Andriy would have his doctors appointment later this morning and I wanted to be there, but knew I wouldn't have time to check out afterward.   So after just falling asleep my alarm went off and I was gone before anyone was up.   The plan later that morning was to meet Andriy, his grandmother and Kostya at the hospital where the appointment was.   I of course had no idea where this hospital was, but from what Kostya explained it was not far from my Hotel.  So while checking out I asked the receptionist, which spoke pretty decent English.  She had explained that it was a few blocks down, so between her directions and what Kostya had explained I felt like I knew where to go.   I'd stop to get breakfast at a super cute little croissant/coffee shop.  Truth be told I only went in because I could actually read the word Croissant on the building.  It was indeed croissants, and very yummy ones.  Afterward I made my way to the Doctor's office. Or so I thought it was.

   

Lviv Crossaints 

After standing there, outside, for approximately 40 minutes I begin to realize that I was not at the right place. The trouble
was that I didn't have any WiFi to try and get in touch with Kostya.  Seeing as Andriy's appointment time had come and gone and I still hadn't seen any of them I had to figure out something else.  The Croissant shop!  It had Internet and wasn't too far, so I made my way back there and was able to call Kostya, who of course in true Kostya fashion was already trying to find me.  Once I explained to him where I was he was able to find me! Yay!   So I'd walk with him back to the Hospital.  Ya'll... it was NOT close to the Hotel, nor was it at all what had been explained to me.  I would have NEVER found it and even if I did then what?  Luckily Kostya was there and got me to the area where Andriy was.

The Hospital

   Now would come the silent treatment.  Remember how I told you he wouldn't leave the house with me.  Yeah, well now we were out of the house, not to his pleasure of course, and he was able to look right past me as if he didn't know who I was.  I had walked up to him once I got there, and received the cold shoulder as he walked off.  That was my cue to just leave him alone.  So I made my way to an area where you could sit - certainly not a waiting room, more like a wall with a bench attached along one side.  There I'd wait until he finished.

   Despite the X-Ray images that would lead one to think the arm was not healed, he was able to have the cast removed and instructed to not play any sports or do anything that could potentially allow him to fall for one year!  This being his second time to break the same arm in the same place, the first of which has left a noticeable lump along the area it was broken, likely from not healing properly, the stress of doing nothing for one year was critical.  We finished up there and decided at this point to split ways.  Grandma and Andriy had gone back home, Kostya and I had gone to exchange some American money I had into hryvnia.

   Remember back on day one how I spoke about the bathroom situations.  Here would be where I would be humbled by the fact that every toilet I had used up until this point was a gift.  After telling Kostya that we needed to find a place with a restroom we found a pub of sorts.  It was a pizza place,

The Woods

and in order to use the restroom you had to purchase something.  So as Kostya prepared to buy us something so I could use the restroom he asked what I wanted and in true fashion I responded "Surprise me".  He came back with a soda and a key.  As I thanked him for the surprise, he assured the me actual surprise would be behind that bathroom door. 

    Most of you know that I'm not a gal of colorful language.  I am pretty positive that my last actual curse word that was used out of true frustration and in proper context and not spelt out was approximately 15 years ago.  I have no use for them.  But when I oped that door... What in the actual HEJL may have crossed my mind and even left my lips, however laughter is all that filled the area.  I asked Kostya what I was even supposed to do?!?! 

   "It's like the woods" he would say, and you guys he couldn't be more accurate.  This "toilet" was a hole in the floor, with standing areas on each side of the hole where you were to place your feet and you guessed it, SQUAT!  I had to basically undress outside this area because I had 17 layers on, none of which I dared allow touch this "bathroom"... It was not, it was a hole!  So we laughed and laughed and Kostya stood there with all of my layers as I headed in.  I am still talking through the door having Kostya help me through this process!  My nose touches the door,  my legs are burning, because what I also haven't done in 15 years is squats!  Oh, and toilet paper, yeah that sandpaper I talked about that first day, that's what they had.  I felt violated walking out of that thing.  Knowing that Kostya had a visual understanding of what just transpired behind that door was almost enough to leave me in
there.  I had to come out though and wanted nothing more than to get out!  As you can imagine this "toilet" was likely not on the list of "to clean" and there was most certainly no cleaning check off list that the employee's sign and the fact that you had to BUY SOMETHING to even use this thing was criminal!  I made it though, and I can appreciate most any toilet now that stands off the ground and next time I am in the woods I'll feel safer and cleaner than I did that day, FO SHO!

My heart. 

    So we finished up the errands I needed to do and made our way back to Andriy's house for what would be the goodbyes.